Balancing Act
I wasn’t going to jump right into this one, but when I put out feelers to find out what y’all wanted to read about on this little blog there was an overwhelming request for me to post about how I manage balancing being a mom and a business owner. Firstly, I need to start by saying how kind everyone was saying I do this with grace and make it look easy. The truth is I am just trying to keep my head above water while navigating this very complex world of being a working mama. Correction, a self-employed working mama, yikes.
Owning your own business(es) is challenging enough as it is; throw in kids, oh and a pandemic, well now we are on another level. Before I had Beau, I had this idea in my mind that I would jump right back into working full time as I always had. I would bring him to the store, I would baby wear and would easily continue on just like before but with a cute little helper by my side. Well as it turns out, newborns are actually not the most helpful. In fact, they themselves are a full-time job. My focus shifted, my brain went to only baby everything. He was also a premie (six weeks early) so that added another level of complexity, but let’s save that story for another time . . . Balancing my businesses with one baby (let alone two) was a massive shift in mindset for me. It took me quite a few months to really grasp mentally how I was going to do this. I will be honest, especially the first time around, both businesses sat on the back burner for a little while and in a way suffered. I don’t regret how I chose to navigate this first time mama situation, however, I will admit the balance was hard and nearly impossible. I didn’t have a balance. Now with number two joining the crew this summer I at least had a better idea of how I would feel, what I would need and how I could prepare my businesses for this initial newborn shift. Now that being said, I did not plan for a global pandemic to hit in the middle of my pregnancy. I had to adapt and shift in a whole other way to accommodate for another wrench in the plans (as did every other human on the planet, duh).
I should probably take a second to also mention that I cry about 50 times a week (at a minimum). If you ask my husband, he would likely say this is not just because I added two children to my already busy life, but that in general I am an emotional wreck LOL - but not really. In all honesty, the emotions that come with motherhood, especially the early months after childbirth, are WILD. Sometimes no matter how good you are at planning, multitasking, compartmentalizing, etc., this sh*t is hard and sometimes you just need a good cry. It helps actually.
I think the one thing that has resonated with me since having children is that we should not live to work, we should work to live. Do not get me wrong, I am truly passionate about what I do and how it all impacts my life in such a positive way. I need to still be myself apart from being a mother. HOWEVER, I am working immensely hard to not let work consume me twenty-four hours a day as it so often has by consciously making an effort to put down my phone, close my laptop, not put clients ahead of my family (although those relationships are so, so important). I have learned to sometimes set it all aside, or try to, for the sake of my sanity and my family. Despite my best efforts, there are still nights I wake up (or am already awake with a baby LOL) and write down new ideas. I spend hours curating new collections for both shops and endlessly think of content to bring to my customers. This is who I am. But I am also someone who is evolving, changing and growing and that is something I am proud of.
So I guess what I am saying, if I am being very honest, is I don’t have any real tips or tricks to make working with kids easier. Many days more than I care to admit, I either feel like I am failing as a mother or as a business owner. However, at the end of the day I am learning to embrace that I am going to have to make sacrifices on both ends, especially because I am the business. Owning a business isn’t a 9-5 job where you can go home and turn it off. I am blessed however to be able to work with my family and bring my babies along a lot of the time. They are the cutest darn shop babes I’ve ever seen, if I do say so myself!
Obviously there is no secret ingredient to make this easier but real talk, here area few things all mamas should practice regularly - - - >
SELF CARE - whatever that means to you, do it. Take a shower, take a bath, read a book, go to yoga, get your lashes done (CHECK), get a mani, drink a glass of wine, sit with a coffee on the porch, whatever it is for you, do it. - I am going to start practicing this more. One hour of your day should be dedicated to you. 1/24 hours in a day should be yours. let that sink in.
For working mamas - Take time to be a business woman apart from being a mama and VICE VERSA. Plain and simple. This is essential to your sanity.
Extending on #2 - take time to be YOU, not a business woman, not a mama, just you. It is hard but so essential to take time to be yourself, and know yourself.
Spend time with your partner, alone. Connect. Make out. You’ll thank me for this one and so will your partner.
Love on your babies - Every day they are one day bigger, one day older, and one day closer to no longer being babies. Love on those squishy little cuties because as they say, time flies.
Above all else remember to listen to your intuition - Sometimes priorities shift, sometimes how you saw your future changes, sometimes having babies takes priority over your business and that is all okay. Just trust your gut, it is likely right and it has gotten you this far babe!
Whether you are a working mom, a business owning mom, a stay-at-home mom, or anything in between, being a mother is not easy. Let me repeat that, being a mother is F***ING hard and whatever you are doing, keep doing it. Be grateful for all the moments. The good ones, the bad ones, the crazy ones, because living in these moments of motherhood chaos are likely going to be the absolute best days of our lives. Do your best, cuddle your babies, kiss your partner and pat your dogs. These are the little moments that make up the big ones down the line. Work hard to play hard because in the end it is all an impossible balancing act anyways and you deserve a little fun!
xo
P.S. I am just realizing something major that I left out of this . . . I left out the fact that I have the most amazing support system and team behind me. From my husband, to my parents, to my in-laws, my friends, and my employees, I truly could not do this without the village that takes care of all of us. I mean without question that is a huge factor behind the fact that I even get anything done at all. So huge shout out to the peeps that make my world go round, I LOVE Y’ALL. Alright I think that’s all . . .