My Pants Don’t Fit
If you have been following along on my instagram you know I just recently had our second baby boy. I say “recently” loosely as he is a few months old now. I have to be honest, my pants still do not fit. The “bounce back” with baby #1 was completely different. I feel like after a month, maybe less, I was able to squeeze into my old jeans and felt, give or take, like my old self in most of my clothing quite quickly (naked was a different story but let’s stick to the fully clothed version right now). This time around is not the same. This time I am struggling to do up the biggest pair of jeans in my closet. Jeans that were baggy on me before baby, jeans that fit until I was 20 weeks pregnant, jeans that I thought I would never actually wear again, barely fit me now. Why am I telling you this? Well mostly just to get it off my chest I think, but also to finally say out loud my pants DO NOT fit, and that is OKAY.
Let’s take a second to acknowledge how wrong it is that we as women, mothers, humans, feel that we have to fit into a certain standard of size in order to feel ‘good’ about ourselves. Of course not everyone feels this way, I envy you, but I think for a lot of us fitting into the unrealistic standard that is presented to us by society as a whole is something we put value on. Something that defines how we feel about ourselves on a relatively deep level. Not being able to do up my pants has been weighing heavily, literally (come on, little joke), on me. When I really sit down and think about that fact I am ashamed. Ashamed that I won’t give myself the same grace I would give a friend or even a stranger. Ashamed that I am not admiring what my body has done for me over the last few years. I have grown TWO, healthy, adorable, perfect baby boys and still what I am focusing on over and over again in my mind is that I cannot fit into my old jeans. The dumbest thing about this is that I own a clothing boutique. I can, at the drop of a hat, get new pants that fit better and feel better, but there is still this relenting voice inside my head that says these old jeans should fit and that I need to make them.
Why am I rambling on and on about my pants not fitting still? Without always knowing it I have put a significant emphasis on my physical appearance. Not necessarily on a number on the scale or the actual size of my clothing but more rather on if I looked “skinny” in what I was wearing. Being skinny has been some unachievable goal I am always working towards. What I consider to be “skinny” has certainly changed over the years but all the same it is still something I seem to continue to strive towards. Admitting that aloud feels very gross and this is something I know I need change within myself. Something I still consistently struggle with, clearly. But how can we change this when it is so deeply engrained in what we are told is “attractive?” I guess the only way to change is to reevaluate our thoughts on a daily, hourly, minutely basis and see how those thoughts are translating into how we specifically feel about ourselves. If the thought is good, keep it, if it is bad, get it the heck out of your head! I have been much thinner than I am now and have still had horrifically negative thoughts regarding my body and have always translated that to my self worth on some level. I have, at more times than I would like to admit, been very unkind to my body, not only in thoughts but in actions too. A body that, again, gave birth to two unbelievably perfect little boys. So, I think the purpose for the rambling here is to reiterate to myself, and anyone who needs to hear it, that being critical of your body does not get you the results you want. It does not make you fit into your old pants any faster, and it certainly does not impact how others perceive you. It truly only affects your own perception of yourself, so why make it a bad one based on being able to do up your old jeans?
If I stop being unkind to my body for ten seconds I realize how much it has done for me. I realize how much my husband has not noticed/ cared about a single change. He literally tells me how perfect I am every day and how obsessed he is with me (what an angel, I know). The point is that being unhappy about my pants being too tight is a useless thought that I carry around. I will continue to get stronger in the coming months of my postpartum journey, I will become more comfortable in my new body and if that new body never looks like my old body, well, that is probably a good thing. Maybe for the first time today I can finally be grateful that my pants don’t fit because my perfect baby is sleeping beside me while I write this and my sweet little toddler just kissed my face and said “love you, mama” before trotting off to bed with his insanely handsome dad. Today is a good day to be grateful that my pants do not fit.
Now since I do happen to actually know what is important in the fit of a great denim I want to give you a few of my top tips when buying yourself a great pair of jeans. If you are like me and need to go invest in a new pair to get your groove back a little here is where to start . . .
Consider jeans an investment. It is easy to find a “cheap” pair of jeans from fast fashion brands, however they often only last a few wears and become quickly misshapen once you have washed them. Invest in your denim to ensure they will be long lasting and hold up with your day to day wear. A great test to see if you are getting a good pair of jeans is when you try them on, and take them back off, do they still hold the same shape they did before you initially put them on.
Don’t worry about the number! A lot of the time we get caught up on what number is on our pants but in actuality all brands fit differently and you will often be a different number size depending on the brand and style. The most important thing when trying on is to ensure the waistband is snug but not too snug. A great trick for this is trying to put your hand down the back of the waistband. You don’t want to be able to slide your entire had down the back, your jeans will always stretch out slightly and you do not want them to start out too big. I promise if you get the right fit the number will not matter, they will look so darn good you’ll forget what the tag read in the first place.
Know what works for you and stick with it. Find out how much stretch you like in your denim, how high you like the rise (or low, but I mean, let’s be honest, low rise are the least comfortable rise ever to exist, am I right?), and know what brands really work for your body. This definitely requires trying on some different pairs and just feeling them out. Taking the time and money to invest in the perfect pair is so essential.
* These jeans are a great fit, mid rise, a snug but not tight waistband, a premium denim that is worth every penny. I prefer a slightly more washed denim most of the time and really love the vibe of these. *
* I cannot stress this enough, a snug waistband is so key. With a premium denim when you get the right fit they will hold up for years and hug you in all the right ways even after they have been washed multiple times. *
* My new favourite jeans, that actually fit, are these “mom jeans” from Modern American. I LOVE them. High rise, relaxed leg, slight distressing. Basically the perfect mom jean in every way including being great for covering up your mummy tummy if you’re feeling a little self conscious. *
- linking a few of my current favs from this eco friendly brand available in the boutique now -
https://shopbellesboutique.com/collections/pants/products/modern-american-highland-denim-in-cosmo
https://shopbellesboutique.com/collections/pants/products/modern-american-denim-lafayette-santa-fe
https://shopbellesboutique.com/collections/pants/products/modern-american-denim-la-brea-wilshire
To sum it up, do not be afraid to invest a little more (you won’t regret it), find your perfect fit without worrying about the size on the tag, and be sure to do your research on stretch and rises to see what is most comfortable for you. Personally I love a high rise without a ton of stretch, a true denim just always feels great to me for some reason.
Babes lets all be a little kinder to ourselves today. Hit me up on insta with any denim questions you may have. OH and my last tip, please for the love of god, stop putting your jeans in the dryer to “shrink” them back up. You are ruining the fibres in the denim and long term making them permanently stretched out. Okay, I think that’s my last bit of wisdom for today . . .
xo